Haven't been here in a while. Been a really bad and stressful week, complete with an awful panic attack. Nothing much to say. Staying at the same weight, haven't been able to put much emphasis on it what with everything else going. This week at school is really tough, but I'm pumped for spring break next week. Visiting my dad up North for a few days, then heading out West to see my mom. Hoping for a relaxing vacation with no stress. Also not too much fatty food, cause you know I'll be a thousand pounds by the time I get back. I can't help it... Mom just cooks SO GOOD.

Anyway. Check back in later. Nothing much to say right now. Feeling depressed. Tired. Off to sleep; hoping I wake up before noon to do some school work.

Goodnight, moon. 

Oh, Valentine's day. Such an amazing holiday- for people with a love interest. For others, like me, it's just another day where I wish I were getting laid, but, I'm in bed alone. I'm a hopeless romantic, and I have such big dreams about what I want Valentine's to be, but it never happens. I'm about ready to give up on the notion. For tonight, though, I will just try to be fine. Go to bed early. Get up, go to class, and move on with my life. Every day is going to get a little bit easier, at least that's what they tell me. I hope it's true.

Anyway, happy Valentines.

172 this morning. 

173.8 this morning.
Veggie cup of red peppers and cucumbers.
Killed it by going out for Mardi Gras... 3 beers and half of a fried fish sandwich. I've lost quite a bit in the last two weeks (close to ten pounds (probably due to a bad break up)), so I'm not going to stress about it. This week, I'm going to focus on relieving the stress that's been building up in my life. I want to emotionally and physically awesome :)

Don't forget, YOU'RE WORTH IT. Do this for you, no one else.

More thinspiration pictures tomorrow maybe; tattoo thinspo? Yes please. 

Incredibly frustrated. Everything seems to be falling apart, and I can't find one semblance of control. I'm struggling to keep my head up when everything is crashing around me. I'm praying for strength.

176.2

Class, and work today. Be up late doing homework; yesterday didn't end up as productive as I had hoped. Got distracted by whatever it is that stupid girls get distracted by. 

Well, just had a very embarrassing realization that I missed the "s" in thinspiration on my http, and all this time it has said thinpirationforme. Which, let's be honest, doesn't really work. Upon trying to change it, of course, my original idea for the web address was taken. The new link is thinspirationisforme.blogspot.com. I hope that anyone reading my (very) short lived blog will be able to find the new page, and can continue finding some kind of hope or encouragement through my posting.

176.4 today. Every ounce counts, but man I hate going slowly. Fucking hate it.

176.8 this morning, which means I am 1.8 pounds away from my next goal weight. It feels good to be making progress, but I just want it right now. I want it so badly, and I can feel it. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. I'm thinking about going vegan again, but it's so expensive and I just don't have the money since moving into my new place. I did, though, somehow manage to find a hundred dollars to blow on a new tattoo.

Not sure why I did that.

Anyway, super busy weekend filled with school and other depressing things. Good things are on the way. Good things are going to happen.

Have a fasting/cleansing day or week. Your body will get rid of all this shit you don't need, and you'll feel great! Stick to just water, if you can. If not, raw veggies and fruits are a great start. Even if you don't shed pounds, your body will thank you for the break from junk food.

Hoping that my number will be down tomorrow, but determined to stay positive either way.

Stay strong.

Today:
Sugar free, 8 oz Red Bull: 10 kcal
A lot of wine: Don't even wanna think about it.

Tomorrow: Red Bull.
Hopefully nothing else. We'll see.

I realize my eating habits are unhealthy. Probably time I go back to therapy. My goal is to eat healthy and go to the gym... My situation right now makes me crave the control of restricting calories though. I promise to be a better thinspiration in the future. 

178 today. One pound at a time seems so monotonous. I want to feel proud, but it's so miniscule. I want to wake up and see something beautiful, not this. Oh well, one pound is one pound. Stay strong!